Suika: Alright, folks! Today, we have an incredible battle! In the blue corner, we have Robert! And in the red corner, we have RNGesus! Let's hope neither of them have gas, or we'll be screwed! Robert: burps Hehehehe! You better hope I don't, Suika! laughs RNGesus: looking indifferent The probability of such an occurrence happening is low, but thank you for your concern. Suika: Okay, let's get the rules down. Three rounds, first to two wins. No biting, no low blows, and no farting! Ready? Begin! The bell rang, and the two contenders immediately went at each other. Robert charged towards RNGesus, ready to squash him like a bug. But to his surprise, RNGesus just stood there, with his arms crossed, and suddenly disappeared into thin air, only to reappear behind Robert. RNGesus: Probability of a surprise attack: 99.9%. Robert: surprised Wha-What the hell!? Where did you go?! RNGesus: Probability of dodging your attacks: 99.9%. Suika: Ooh, looks like RNGesus is playing to his strengths! Robert: charges towards him again I'll smash you to bits, you prick! RNGesus: Probability of being hit by your attack: 0%. Robert's charge was swift and powerful, but RNGesus had disappeared again, only to reappear behind Robert once again. This time, he used his luck manipulation powers to change the trajectory of Robert's attack, causing him to hit himself instead. Robert: groans in pain What the- How did you do that?! RNGesus: Probability of redirecting your attack: 99.9%. Suika: Robert seems to be having a hard time hitting RNGesus! Will he switch things up in the next round? Robert: panting You lucky bastard! Just you wait! I'll crush your bones! RNGesus: Probability of victory: 99.9%. Suika: And that's the end of the first round! The second round started, and this time, Robert tried to be more strategic in his approach. He pretended to charge, only to stop midway and surprise RNGesus with a powerful blow. Robert: smirks as his attack connects Hah! Gotcha! RNGesus: Probability of being hit by your attack: 0%. Suika: Whoa! Robert managed to land a hit! RNGesus must be seeing stars! Robert: blinks What the hell?! How did you dodge that?! RNGesus: Probability of avoiding your attack: 99.9%. Robert: growls You're pissing me off! RNGesus: Probability of being attacked again: 99.9%. Robert charges again, but this time, RNGesus unleashes his magic power, causing Robert to trip and fall flat on his face. Robert: groans in pain Oww! Son of a bitch! RNGesus: Probability of causing you to stumble: 99.9%. Suika: It looks like RNGesus is not just lucky, but also a master of magic! Robert: clenches his fists I'll kill you! RNGesus: Probability of death: 0%. Suika: And that's the end of the second round! It all comes down to this! In the final round, Robert charges towards RNGesus once again, but this time, he has a surprise up his sleeve. As he's about to smash RNGesus, he lets out a loud fart, causing RNGesus to lose focus and stumble. Robert: laughs Hahahaha! How do you like that one, smartass?! RNGesus: coughs and gags Probability of such an event happening: 0.1%. Suika: Oh my god, Robert just farted on RNGesus! This is insane! Robert: laughs uncontrollably Hahahaha! I win! RNGesus: Probability of victory: 99.9%. Robert: stops laughing Wait, what? RNGesus: Probability of using my magic to reverse the outcome of the battle: 99.9%. Suika: What the- RNGesus just turned the tables! He's about to- RNGesus: Probability of this battle being pointless: 100%. Suddenly, both fighters disappeared, as if they never existed in the first place. Suika: What just happened?! Did they just- The audience was left in shock and confusion. But deep down, they knew that the battle was never truly about Robert or RNGesus. It was about fate, luck, and the unpredictable nature of life itself.