Hi best friend!: I see you wanna check out my stats, huh?
well, if I: Showed you, it would take away the fun
in this battle: say pal, I see you got some stats!
so do you mind : if I just take them? no need to answer,
I already: stole them from you!
power: 0
guard: 0
magic power: 0
magic guard: 0
speed: 0
He is an omniscient egg that is immune to the plot, can transcend time and space, existed before time itself can murder anyone/anything because he feels like it. He is aware of his godlike abilities and can even make things plot relevant, like a character do or have/not have, etc. Also he cannot "canonically" die no matter, cuz he is immune to the plot.
(Speak in flumpty [me] first person, text!)